Skinny Jeans And Suffocated Souls
“It’s time, Soul-full Mamas, to take our soul back. We have given our soul away. We have given others our power. We have taken on their anger, their hurts and their sadness, making it our own. Why? Because we are put into the position of having to take care of the world. We are told that everyone else comes first. We don’t have time to take care of our needs. We have to be strong and tend to everyone else’s wants. And in the process we grow tired, resentful and angry. We begin to close our heart as our spirit slips away. It doesn’t happen all at once. As we continue to push past our limits and lose our sense of self, we lose our open heart, we close off our soul, one angry load of laundry at a time.
We were told to be the perfect woman, the super woman that does it all. With great strength, we worked out our bodies to make them hard. We pushed past our bodies age limits, not for health, but for vanity, just to show off our muscles, our toned arms, and fit into our skinny jeans.
“Look at me. Now I am the perfect woman. Skinny, arms toned, exhausted, yes, but I look good – regardless of how I feel. Who has time to deal with difficult emotions?”
With great strength, we took on the emotions of the family.
You’re upset honey? Let’s wash that away. Let’s push it away. You’re frustrated? Don’t worry, mama will take it away. Mama will take all of your feelings and make it better. Mama will fight for you and you will not suffer. No, not my kid. You will not suffer.
Husband angry, depressed, or just frustrated?
Don’t worry. Wife to the rescue! She will take on all your stress and make it her own. She will do it. She is strong. She is hard.
The problem is, mama looks amazing, she’s running in her high heels to her fabulous job; she’s perfectly going through the motions – healthy cooking, getting everyone to every sport, activity and recital. She’s also taking on every feeling in the family possible. She’s super woman.
Haven’t you seen her? Are you her?
Oh wait. She’s crumbling. She’s not going to let you see that though. Her makeup is starting to run. Her stress lines are showing more and more every day. Sure Botox is an option. She could cover it up like everything else. Wait, she ate cake. A lot of cake. Hold on, she can’t stop. The feeling of being bad is so good. “Screw you world!” She says to no one but herself as the chocolate runs onto her perfect outfit. And suddenly, she’s not sleeping. Not enough hours in the day! So she’s starting to make, Oh My God, MISTAKES! She’s cracking and the world is going to see!
And suddenly, her body is becoming bigger and she doesn’t know why. The stress of holding it all in is becoming too much. She just needs air. She locks herself away in her room. Begging to go back to the life where she could do it all. But she’s running on empty now and eating standing up or running from one appointment to another. THIS IS NO LONGER WORKING!
The hard core workouts are exhausting. Taking in everyone’s emotions is leaving her frazzled and pissed off. “Where did all this anger come from,” she wonders? “How did I wake up and become such an explosive angry person? And why is it all imploding inside my body?” She finds her health declining. Maybe it manifests as unexplained strange health issues. Maybe the skinny jeans and tight leggings are being stretched too far now. Maybe being chronically exhausted isn’t worth it. Maybe the tension in her marriage isn’t working. Maybe constantly yelling at the kids is not how she wants to live.