When Defiant Spirit Means Taking Responsibility

In my last blog, I talked about the Defiant Power of the Human Spirit as embodied by the Ukrainian people and particularly President Zelenskyy (you can read that here).

The shadow side of talking about such extreme moments, however, is that we start thinking that it's only in extreme circumstances where the defiant power of the human spirit is possible. It is not.

The Ukrainian dancer, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, made famous in "Dancing with the Stars," reminds us of another, radically different way to discover this defiant power of spirit.

Maksim was in Ukraine when the war broke out, and shortly thereafter he left Ukraine, much to his regret and shame.

"I feel guilty. I feel bad," Chmerkovskiy said in an interview with "Good Morning America." "I feel ashamed. I feel upset."

Chmerkovskiy told the morning show that he had a very emotional response to leaving the country. "I cried from the airport, I felt embarrassed ... the entire ride back cause I was the only man on the train amongst all women and children," Chmerkovskiy said.

Now, our first reaction might be to judge Maksim for leaving Ukraine, leaving behind his brethren to fight a war where he was expected to participate. I'm sure there are a lot of armchair warriors out there right now calling him a coward, judging him for his decisions, however, to do so would be wrong. As Dr. Viktor Frankl taught us, writing about this regarding his experience in the Holocaust, "No man should judge unless he asks himself in absolute honesty whether in a similar situation he might not have done the same.” We can not know Maksim's circumstances. We can not know what it would be like to be in his shoes. Unless we were in that exact situation, with his exact circumstances, we do not know what we would do.

Look, we don't have to like his decision, or even respect it - he didn't. However, that's the point. Instead of rationalizing his choice, or spinning it as celebrities tend to do, he was honest. He took responsibility. He shared publicly the truth. This took courage, and perhaps not something all of us would do. Make no mistake about it, this is the defiant power of spirit.

The defiant power of spirit does not mean...

We pick up a weapon, fly to Ukraine and get into the fight.

We go to war, confront evil or bring down a totalitarian regime.

We survive something as atrocious as the Holocaust or endure refugee status as we fight for our life being expelled from Ukraine.

Of course, these can and are examples of the defiant power of spirit, can. However, they are not the only way.

The Defiant Spirit can be as simple as taking responsible

Sometimes the defiant power of spirit is as simple as taking responsibility for our human shortcomings, frailties, and failings.

Other times it's admitting that we had to act in our self-interest, but aren't going to spin our decision to save face.

Life is complicated. Fear is real. Human nature is nuanced. So, day in, day out each and every one of us, like Maksim Chmerkovisky has to look ourselves in the mirror, tell ourselves the truth, and take responsibility for our choices.

This is not to say that Maksim Chmerkovskiy made a good decision or the right decision. That is between him, his people, and his God. However, make no mistake about it, the way he has handled his choices since then is also the defiant power of the human spirit too.