Big Boys Do Cry

Big boys don’t cry.”

“Quit your crying.”

“Stop being a cry baby!”

A coach shames you by saying it on the field.

The guys haze you the moment they glimpse a tear.

A parent forever scars you, scolding you in front of a friend.

You hear it, particularly as a male, in so many situations, so many scenarios, some you’d expect, but other’s which totally catch you off guard.

Recently a good friend’s dying father said it to him, of all places, on the deathbed. As the final days were approaching, this fifty year old man had tears in his eyes talking with his dying dad. Tears turned into crying, crying into a meltdown and a meltdown as his father said, “Joey, you are such a cry baby.”

Cry baby? Really? Is that what we really believe?

Why is it macho to hide your feelings?

How is it a sign of strength to restrain your emotions?

What makes covering over your vulnerability tough?

The people I respect, the males I revere, the men I look up to – they cry.

They cry frequently. They cry freely. And they cry fiercely.

It takes courage to open your heart and cry.

It takes strength to share your emotions and cry.

It takes power to stand in the midst of a pent up, repressed, shallow culture and let the tears go and let the crying flow.

Brave men and women cry in front of others.

Strong men and women resist the temptation to hold back the floodgates. Powerful men and women refuse to wipe away the tears.

Cry babies? How about Cry Warriors!

You are watching a sad movie and it stirs something in your heart or you are with a friend and feel a sense of overwhelming love for them which moves you to tears – be cry warrior and let yourself cry.

You feel hurt and betrayed, lonely and scared; You feel joyful, happy and filled with pride; Your mom is dying or your baby is born, ordinary moments or extra-ordinary events – whatever the reason, whenever the situation, why ever it happens – don’t be a cry baby and sniffle, and hide the tears, and pretend you have something in your eye.

Stand up.

Stop covering your face.

Be a man.

Act like a warrior.

A Cry Warrior and cry, cry, cry.