My Tears Are My Divinity

The other day I went to a movie with my kids. There was a touching moment and I felt the tears ready to flow. I fought hard to hold them back. I knew that was ridiculous but i didn’t want my kids to see me crying – not like that. Not over a silly movie. Why are we so scared of tears?

Why are we so scared of tears?

Do you know how often people apologize to me during counseling sessions when they start crying? All the time! “I’m sorry,” they tell me as they are talking about their divorce, “I don’t usually cry.”

“I apologize,” they say, “I didn’t mean to do this,” as they are sharing about their dead spouse.

Why apologize for crying?

Why qualify the tears?

Why wipe them away? After all, in the words of Washington Irving, “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love.”

Your tears hold the answers.

Your crying points the way.

Or in the words of the Jewish mystical master, Reb Nachman, “ My tears are my divinity; they come from the inside of God’s face.”

You want to find your way? Then find your tears. They are not yours, after all, they are God’s – so stop holding them back, apologizing for them when they come, or wiping them away.

Rabbi B