Merry Christmas, Not Happy Holidays For This Jew

Why I Hate Happy Holidays

I know some of you have come to expect this every year. It's annoying I'm sure, but not as annoying as listening to two Christians who know the other celebrates Christmas exchanging "happy holidays" greetings. What they should be saying is, "Merry Christmas."

I get it. They don't want to offend those who don't celebrate Christmas. But frankly, this is political correctness run amok. It's like getting hammered by the woke police these days, like when I recently posted something about the homeless problem. "It's not 'homeless'” I got scolded. It's 'unhoused' I was told. Well, last I checked, the suffix "less" isn't pejorative but means "without. The prefix "un" also means without. So I'm not sure why I have to use bad English to make somebody without a home feel better. Maybe we should all just work on getting them a house! But I digress. 

So back to Christmas. I do appreciate the sensitivity but let's just be clear, over 95% of Americans celebrate Christmas in some way, shape, or form. 95%!!!!!

We're not talking about a lot of people you see at Starbucks, in your kid's school, or on the streets. We're talking nearly everybody. Yes, yes I appreciate your sensitivities towards me, the Jews, and the other 3% of remaining non-Christmas folks. But here's a few things you should know before you throw out "Merry Christmas" faster than new woke vocabulary words become unhoused.

Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah & And A Late Happy Fourth Too

First, if what you intend by "happy holidays" is to include Chanukah, thanks so much and Happy Fourth of July, Happy Easter, and every other holiday that's past. It's long gone, closer to Thanksgiving this year than Christmas. Thanks for all the Happy Chanukah messages by the way. I got a ton of them and mostly from my Christian friends. So now it’s my turn and trust me I will not be wishing you Happy Holidays but Merry Christmas as yours is the holiday at bat, not mine.

Second, there's always the Kwanza conundrum. Look, I'm all for it. I'll support you if you celebrate it. I'll come over and light the Kwanzaa candles or whatever happens at a Kwanzaa party, I’m there! But here's the thing. In roughly twenty years of sending out some version of this blog, I have yet to hear back from anybody who celebrates Kwanzaa that is upset by being wished “Merry Christmas”. Honestly, I've yet to meet anyone who actually celebrates Kwanzaa but if you do, hit me up cause I'll be at your house, or un-house, I don’t judge. 

Finally, this brings me to the real issue, the remaining 5% out there who don't drink eggnog or kiss under the mistletoe (is that really a thing?). Get ready for this. I'm coming in hot and hard on this one. If you aren’t Christian, so what. You’re not the wicked witch, "I'm melting, I'm melting" if you hear these words. It’s not an insult. It’s not personal. It’s statistics and the stats are that you are a slim majority so it’s something you’re gonna hear. Plus who doesn’t feel better, not worse, by being wished a merry anything? And when else do we get to use that word?

You also don't have to be Christian to say these words last I checked. I know that might be quite a shock. No, I don't celebrate Christmas. I'm a Jew in case the rabbi thing didn't give it away. 

So what!

I don't celebrate the Chinese New Year but would have no problem saying, "gong hei fat choy, which means 'Best wishes" in Cantonese. Fine, so I'd have a hard time saying it but only cause it's hard to say. If you celebrate Ramadan I'll offer up a "Rah-ma-dawn moo-bar-ack”, which is much easier for this Hebrew speaker, a "blessed Ramadan" to you and yours.

The Words We’re Looking For Are Merry Christmas

So what do I say to my Christian friends? "Merry Christmas," which somehow should be obvious but today in our woke-one-upmanship culture with less and less we can say somehow this will get you canceled, even cause you to become un-housed. 

And do you know what we all should say to someone out and there who wishes us a "Merry Christmas?"  It's not hard. It's not painful. It doesn't make me question my choice in saviors or shake in my theological boots. Simply say, "thank you. And merry Christmas to you." It's that simple. It's quite beautiful. It's the right thing to do.

“Let’s toughen up, wake up and stop worrying about whether our words are woke. Let’s get back out into the world, reclaim our resilience and get over our distrust, our sensitivities, and our fears. ”

So, once again here’s my annual post-Chanukah message. Actually, I don’t send it to simply be annoying or the anti-Scrooge though I’m happy to play my part. I share it because I don’t want to live in a society where we are this delicate, this easily offended, or spend so much time wringing our hands about what we can and can’t say. Let’s toughen up, wake up and stop worrying about whether our words are woke. Let’s get back out into the world, reclaim our resilience and get over our distrust, our sensitivities, and our fears. 

So have yourself a merry little Christmas. Just please note that if I see you on Christmas at a Chinese restaurant, since it's not the Chinese New Year, I'll simply say "shalom." After all, 95% of those sipping egg drop soup instead of eggnog on Christmas are most probably Jews!
Merry Christmas and an early gong hei fat choy too!